Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Like Lightning

I know, I said I'd update more than I have, but life gets in the way, so you can just deal with it. I'm here now, aren't I? :).

I've always felt, as a writer, that I needed a bit more life experience in order to write something decent and made of awesome. I feel like experiencing life, gives you more ideas and views on the world that you can take into consideration and maybe put into your writing. Now though, it's my turn to be doing the whole 'this is real life' thing and not the student bubble that I've lived in for the better part of the past 3 years and you know what, I never expected it to be this hard.

Most of my friends are now more than an hour away from me and I know, an hour + is not a whole lot of time, but it does make a difference. They are altogether and I'm here, working my ass off and sleeping and trying to keep social appearances up as much as I can. I miss them though and I miss my life, I miss waking up in my bed and staring at my beautiful blue wall and then bopping into my house-mates room and getting her out of bed and I miss going down to the promenade for ice-cream and lazing around in oversized jumpers, onesies, nightgowns and duvets because its so cold and the most heat generated is the one from the laptop that you are supposed to be studying on except you keep refreshing facebook instead, hoping something interesting is going to happen.

I thought I was prepared for the sadness and longing that I now feel but I am so not. All the little updates of what they are doing, while keeping me informed and making me smile most of the time still feel like a little kick to the heart. I feel like I should be there with them doing all the things we've done before, but better. I think some of this sadness also stems from the fact that I'm working a full-time job that is completely unrelated to my degree. I think I had imagined falling into some amazing job that allows me to write and travel and see my friends more often but with the economy the way it is, it's just impossible to find any job that is even remotely related. Also because of where I am located, there isn't a big market for the mass media, there are a couple of magazines and newspapers and media companies, but nothing compared to what it is elsewhere.

I mean, I know my life could be much much worse, but having been a part of something, of a bigger community for 3 years of my life, feeling like I belonged and had people around me who take care of each other, it's just a little strange and sad to be on the outside, watching.  I promised myself that I would try and keep my emotions off my blog, but I can't seem to get anything else out without writing about how I feel about this first. I'm hoping getting this off my chest, will help. 

I know life doesn't work out the way we want it too most of the time and there are always detours and twisted paths and obstacles to face and that this is just one of them, I just wished for something more. The hardest part is knowing that I'm not there, that this year is not something I can be a part of like I was. I'll be the friend who drops in when she can, coming in like lightning, leaving a small blinding flash and leaving again before you can figure out what it really was and while it's hard, I'll take being a small flash of lightning over being nothing.

So friends,you know who you are, I love you and I miss you and I hope you take the time to think about me from time to time - oh and I'll be by tomorrow, like lightning. 

See you then.
Sami

Thursday, 8 September 2011

Breakfast at the Bus Stop

It was one of those days. You know, the days everyone has and we call it "one of those days". No one really knows what defines one of those days, but we all have them. I think they are just bad days. Or days where everything goes wrong, or maybe everything goes right. Or everything is just completely surreal, or mad, or mental. It was something like that.

I'd woken up from yet another weird dream, had sat and stared at the blank white box telling me I needed to do an update, while Sims ran in the background with it's weird language and music. My sim telling me she needed the loo and a shower and I'm thinking, why don't you just go then you idiot instead of standing there with your legs crossed. Yeah, one of those days even in virtual games.

I decided I'd get dressed and then maybe I'd feel more alive and inspired. This was the wrong idea. I'd decided to spice up my style a little, break out the winter boots n walk them in a bit before winter actually got here. I stuck on my new berry coloured vest top and black tights and went looking for my black skirt to match. This is when the frustration started, it wasn't in my wardrobe, on the hanger alongside my black 3/4 lengths where I remembered hanging it, it wasn't in the box of things needing to be hung up, it wasn't in either of the wash baskets, or on the line to dry, nor was it in my sister's or mother's wardrobes. 

Then I get the phonecall from work "You're late, you're supposed to be in at 1.30". According to my rota, I was supposed to be in at 3.30. So now I'm being rushed about. I give up on finding the black skirt and stick on some jeans while my best friend informs me that yes, she is indeed going back to live in Uni, with our other friend. This is indeed a piece of great news in my otherwise so far frustrating day.

I run around, my stomach grumbling, pieceing together my uniform into a bag, running a brush through my hair and bounding out the door, grabbing a cereal bar on the way. I race to the bus stop hoping that I haven't already missed the bus because time's a ticking and I'm pushing my luck. But it's fine, I walk quicker than I imagine that I do. No interruptions stop me on the way up and I reach the bus stop with minutes to spare. So I break open the cereal bar and some water I'd thrown in my bag.

It's then that I realise, I'm alright, I'm going to make it to work on time and I have 10 minutes to enjoy the sun beating down on my back while I eat my breakfast. It could be a worse day. I could have no food or clothes at all. I got to thinking about how I've made it from being a student, to a graduate, to getting myself some real life experience and while it might be draining on my body, heart, soul and life occasionally, I'm here and I'm doing the best I can and who was I to complain?

Alas, it wasn't quite breakfast at Tiffany's, but for now, it would have to do.

Monday, 5 September 2011

Hey There!

Three years and three blogs later, I've been from the city, to the simply, to the something and now I am back in the city and ready to document my thoughts, ideas, opinions and experiences and share them here with you.

I am now complete with my very own website address and you can find me on twitter and facebook with my shiny new buttons over in the sidebar. I've also included some links to some of my favourite blogs and websites and since this post is one of those boring introductory ones then you might well find yourself more entertained at those more established pages.

However, you can expect posts from me at least 1-2 times a week, all being well and you'll be the first to know if it isn't most likely over on my twitter feed, so you should go check that out first and follow the facebook page.

The first Sami and the City blog caused a lot of personal drama which is the sole reason I shut it down, but since I am and want to be a writer, I tried to keep writing or blogging as such hence the other two blogs I created but neither of them quite had my heart like this one. So I return to you once more as Sami and the City, still inspired by Sex and the City and hoping to bring you posts like Carrie Bradshaw's columns, to evoke emotions and inspire thoughts. Although, you mustn't beat me too much if I get a little lax and post some memes or silly posts about cats every now and then. I may also post poems and stories without notifying you first, it will be up to you to figure out what it is and whether it's true or false. I'm not giving up my energy to explaining myself any more than I have too.

So I'm back bitches and I'm ready to take whatever you have to throw at me and since you're here already, go on and follow/like elsewhere, or send me an email at samiandthecity@gmail.com - I'll be sure to get a shiny email button soon, or leave a comment! That's all for now so don't forget to pop back later in the week where I'll be sure to have something more interesting to say. Thanks for coming back and reading and I hope you will continue to follow me from here on out.

Until Next Time,
Sami